Halloween Ghost Town - October 29, 2012

Halloween Ghost TownWhen I was a kid and before my parents decided to upgrade us to a neighborhood where everyone pretended they were the sole survivors on an island, we lived on a street where everyone knew everyone’s name, Cheers-style.  Halloween was safe.  All of the kids would trick-or-treat together.  We’d meet at the end of the street and travel in herds to fill our pillowcases full of sugar, with only the good stuff.  There were no coins, toothbrushes or healthy snacks.  And, because we knew everybody, it was safe to eat most of the candy.

 

My mother was still paranoid about anything that didn’t have a sealed wrapper, so Smarties and Tootsie Pops were taboo. 

Read more…

Target Twelve Step Program - October 26, 2012

Target Twelve Step ProgramWe’ve all done it.  Walked into the Target vortex for something simple like laundry detergent and walked out with three bags full of I-don’t-know-what.  The store is more mysterious than the Bermuda Triangle.

 

The other day I went there to buy a birthday present for my nephew and I ended up with a princess game, shoe polish, a frame and four shirts and socks for my husband.  A ten minute trip turned into an almost two hour one.  As a mommy, this means the laundry will wait another day and dinner will be takeout.  Time is money, not to mention the $200 that should have gone into our retirement fund. 

Read more…

Ode to Tom Hardy - October 25, 2012

Ode to Tom HardyNo, I’m not referring to the late and great novelist and poet.  I am discussing the man everyone couldn’t understand in The Dark Knight Rises, but who is a kick a$$ chameleon of acting with several sides of gorgeous.  Yes, this is technically a blog with “mommy” in the title.  Yes, I am tired of talking about toddlers and tutus this week, so let’s talk about Tom Hardy.

 

I’m a mommy and this is my blog.  The two don’t always enjoy each other’s company.  Although motherhood always comes with comic relief, I want to talk about something less tiring, messy and frustrating. 

Read more…

Munchkins, Walkers And A Mother Hangover - October 24, 2012

Munchkins-Walkers-Mother-HangoverBefore I was somebody’s mother, I used to cover up the gray.  I used to get my hair blown out.   My make-up saw the light of day.  Happy hour wasn’t my daughter’s nightly nap.  Putting on lotion wasn’t a luxury.  My heels and skirts weren’t considered vintage.

 

Saturday, my single-for-a-day alter ego, Dirty Martini, came out to play.  She only makes rare appearances, once every six months to a year.  She knows when I really need her to appear.

 

She slept in, while “the other people in the house” (those that Dirty Martini doesn’t know by name) watched football. 

Read more…

True Love: A Shart Story - October 23, 2012

True Love: A Shart StorySometimes as writers, we find inspiration from the posts of our blogger friends.  Sometimes, they are profound and sometimes they are about, well, poop.  I have no idea exactly who started this topic trend (Peanut Layne and Chewylicious?), but here is my story.

 

A month after my husband and I became engaged, we decided to take a trip to Thailand.  We wanted to go somewhere exotic and somewhere that we would never venture, once I got knocked up.  I picked Thailand because it gave me a feeling of the forbidden, historical and unexpected, all in paradise.  I had spent a summer in Hawaii, traveled all over Europe and been to Mexico and Costa Rica. 

Read more…

Curse of the Copycat Child - October 19, 2012

Child CursingYesterday, while on the phone with a friend, I forgot that I had a kid and let the word “b#$^*” slip out.  Babyface was quietly playing with her Polly Pockets in the dining room.  Out of sight, out of mind, right?

 

I didn’t even catch myself in the act.  Instead, I heard, “Mommy, what did you say?”  Ruh roh.  I did a mental rewind and pinpointed the word my little eavesdropper was referring to.  I quickly informed my friend that I had to go and tried to brush off the question by offering Babyface a snack.  When I was a kid, this would’ve been a Kraft single, Ritz crackers and some Hi-C (gross, in hindsight), but for her, yummy is GoGo Squeez, $.80, organic applesauce in a squeeze pouch. 

Read more…

Test - October 19, 2012

test

Sixteen Candles Retro-Revival - October 18, 2012

Sixteen Candles Retro RevivalWhen I was 13, I was obsessed with Sixteen Candles.  When I say obsessed, I don’t mean I watched it every once in a while with my girlfriends; I mean I recorded it with my VCR and would run home to watch it after school almost EVERYDAY, while I ate my Bugles or Hostess snacks (anything that hasn’t been banned from the snack aisle today and is now considered contraband).  Sometimes I would make French bread pizzas with non-organic mozzarella and canned tomato sauce, which is pretty much as revered as smoking these days.  I was a real rebel, can’t you tell?

Read more…

Mommy’s TV Time - October 17, 2012

Mommy's TV TimeI tried to watch Homeland on TV the other day and I had to rewind the first five minutes five times, before I turned it off.  Not because it isn’t a great TV show.  I’m sure it is.  I couldn’t watch it because of my attention span.  After having my four-year-old, my attention span is that of, well…a four-year-old.

 

The minute my daughter’s head hits the pillow, I run to the recliner and meditate during reality TV, the CW and comedies or dramas about parents.  As long as I’m wearing yoga pants and do long, deep breathing it counts as yoga, right? 

Read more…

Dare To Dream - October 16, 2012

Mark Ludy When I Was A Girl I DreamedMy daughter’s rocket ship sighting the other day reminded me of a recent visit to a local, Art and Wine Festival.  I love to stroll, glass of wine in hand, and booth shop.  Usually, I just look at and buy small trinkets.  Maybe, stop and watch the drunken dancers by the main stage.

 

This time, we stumbled upon something quite different, an illustrator, Mark Ludy, not only selling his artwork, but children’s books he illustrated.  His artwork caught our eye, and the books sucked us into the booth.  I thumbed through each book and picked one I felt reflected me as a child and knew my daughter could relate to, When I Was A Girl… I Dreamed, written by Margaret Baker and Justin Matott.

Read more…