My Little Parrot - November 29, 2012

My Little ParrotBabyface has become an unintentional tattletale overnight.  Spelling out my negative thoughts or swear words still sometimes works, but then there are those moments where I slip up.  Her memory is suddenly long and she repeats only the bad things I say.  Sure, it’s innocent, but she’s like the parrot that drives you crazy with its repetitive echo, but you are fully aware doesn’t know any better.  And, this is my child, who I love more than myself, so leaving the window open by accident isn’t an option.

 

As we were leaving a restaurant after lunch today, someone in a car said the word “a$$”.  I don’t remember what the exact context was, but of course that was the word Babyface heard loud and clear amongst the pouring rain and cars splashing in puddles.  “That man said a bad word, Mommy.  Only Mommy can say that word,” she informed me.

 

She was telling on the man and letting me know that it was okay for me to say “a$$”, but no one else could.  Why?  Because, I have slipped up and said it many times in her presence.  Why?  Because, mommy has a lot of double standards, especially when it comes to foul language (and dark chocolate).  Why?  Because, whatever Mommy does must be right.  I usually try to ignore the slip-ups and hope she doesn’t hear me, but apparently she has been picking up my dirt with her mental sponge the entire time.

 

This leads me to wonder all of the things she tells her teacher that, to her, appear acceptable, but to another adult would be questionable.  I’m pretty sure she yaps about all of my indiscretions to her teacher, but has no idea that they would put Mommy on Santa’s naughty list or at the top of a CPS, most-wanted list.  I try to get a read from her teacher, but it’s not exactly something you want to flat out ask them.  Is my daughter telling you how much I say the word “a$$” or “bullsh!t”?

 

Her sleep schedule has been messed up, since the Thanksgiving break.  We let her stay up late to see Daddy after work and sleep in every morning.  So, yesterday, at her piano lesson, she was falling apart.  Sometimes when I’m really tired and my husband is going to work late, I let her watch an episode of Sesame Street in our bed, while I take a catnap.  Hey, I’m a mom and we all have our secret behavior and ways of coping.  Sometimes that one-hour nap can get me through a long, long day without losing it.  Of course, while leaving the music studio, she had a meltdown, sat on the ground and said, “Mommy, I want to watch Sesame Street in your bed, while you take a nap.”

 

Now I know this isn’t nearly as bad as swearing, but all of us have little things we do to cope in life and, unless you’re Mother Teresa, you have double standards too.  I accept them.  I don’t hide them, when I’m talking to my friends that know me.  I just don’t want my daughter announcing this behavior to the world, especially other authority figures like her teachers or, worse yet, my parents…who will provide a nice, fat lecture about my decisions.

 

When it comes to dark chocolate, Babyface understands that I get double of whatever I give her because I’m twice her size.  Makes sense, right?  One nice, little double standard that I still have intact.

  1. Love this one! I’m going to be in SO much trouble in this department! I love the “mommy gets double” rule ;)
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    Comment by Jen — November 30, 2012 @ 7:00 am
  2. Ugh. This post upsets me to no end. Not that I disagree with you or your parenting choices in ANY way. The decisions we make as parents are ours to make, and so long as our babies are kept safe and healthy, we should feel free to chose whatever parenting style suits our family best.

    I came across an article the other day, about mothers actually being charged with neglect, for falling asleep. (http://www.mommyish.com/2011/07/06/moms-who-sleep-should-be-charged-with-criminal-neglect/#comments) Sometimes even for sleeping AT NIGHT. Otherwise wonderful moms, whose toddlers found a way out of the house at midnite hours. They’ve been charged and convicted in the court of public opinion, shamed in their community by friends and neighbors who would NEVER let such things happen to their own children, and then- actual charges were brought against them! As if the guilt and shame those moms beat *themselves* up with isn’t harsh enough punishment.

    One of my favorite parts of the day, is nap-time with Bugg. I put on an hour long dvr cartoon movie, and we lay on the couch and snuggle. More often than not, he gets up after a minute or two and moves on to his toys. And should I fall asleep, he wakes me when his movie is over (if he hasn’t curled up on the floor with his blanky and fallen asleep himself)

    Sometimes you have to do, what you have to do, to be the best mommy you can be. Sometimes that involves a little television, a mc calorie supper, or even the occasional nap. There are way worse things we should be worried about. There are parents -who really are abusing children- we should be looking at. Not only should we stop shaming legit GOOD parents- but we should stop allowing ourselves to be shamed as well! I can’t claim to know what kind of parent you are- I’ve only come across your blog today- but the fact you even worry about your parenting decisions, tells me your exactly what you need to be.

    Comment by Amanda — December 12, 2012 @ 3:31 pm
  3. I try to laugh about it, most of the time. We all have imperfections as parents. I know nothing I’m doing is over-the-top or would put my daughter in harms way. I love that you’re so passionate about this. The fact that you even share naptime with your Bugg is good parenting. You’re spending time with him!

    Comment by Mommy Unmuted — December 12, 2012 @ 7:01 pm
  4. I just can’t believe the amount of parent shaming going on. I guess its all fairly new to me, since I never really kept up with “mommy news” before I finally took a peek at a blog (for the first time) this year. I’ve watched a lot of moms get pretty beat up in their comments. Its such a shame we can’t spend more time propping eachother up, instead of tearing eachother down.

    As for the whole parrot deal- I’m so totally in for it this time around. I tend to say “effing” a whole lot. My oldest picked up on it, and threw it into a very loud conversation he was having in the middle of a restaurant *OOPS* fotunately he was very accepting when told what he shouldn’t do. As for my Bugg- oh boy! He’s every bit a Taurus, and tends to do whatever he’s told he cant- with gusto! As in- please don’t stand/walk/run on the couch, you’re going to get boo boo’s- followed by a loud thump, scream, rinse and repeat. 20 times. Till I give up- and then its no longer a challenge to him. He’s down right determined to give me a heart attack daily. Or make me pee my pants a little. I think either are a win to him!

    Comment by Amanda — December 13, 2012 @ 12:30 am

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