Babyface has become an unintentional tattletale overnight. Spelling out my negative thoughts or swear words still sometimes works, but then there are those moments where I slip up. Her memory is suddenly long and she repeats only the bad things I say. Sure, it’s innocent, but she’s like the parrot that drives you crazy with its repetitive echo, but you are fully aware doesn’t know any better. And, this is my child, who I love more than myself, so leaving the window open by accident isn’t an option.
As we were leaving a restaurant after lunch today, someone in a car said the word “a$$”. I don’t remember what the exact context was, but of course that was the word Babyface heard loud and clear amongst the pouring rain and cars splashing in puddles. “That man said a bad word, Mommy. Only Mommy can say that word,” she informed me.
She was telling on the man and letting me know that it was okay for me to say “a$$”, but no one else could. Why? Because, I have slipped up and said it many times in her presence. Why? Because, mommy has a lot of double standards, especially when it comes to foul language (and dark chocolate). Why? Because, whatever Mommy does must be right. I usually try to ignore the slip-ups and hope she doesn’t hear me, but apparently she has been picking up my dirt with her mental sponge the entire time.
This leads me to wonder all of the things she tells her teacher that, to her, appear acceptable, but to another adult would be questionable. I’m pretty sure she yaps about all of my indiscretions to her teacher, but has no idea that they would put Mommy on Santa’s naughty list or at the top of a CPS, most-wanted list. I try to get a read from her teacher, but it’s not exactly something you want to flat out ask them. Is my daughter telling you how much I say the word “a$$” or “bullsh!t”?
Her sleep schedule has been messed up, since the Thanksgiving break. We let her stay up late to see Daddy after work and sleep in every morning. So, yesterday, at her piano lesson, she was falling apart. Sometimes when I’m really tired and my husband is going to work late, I let her watch an episode of Sesame Street in our bed, while I take a catnap. Hey, I’m a mom and we all have our secret behavior and ways of coping. Sometimes that one-hour nap can get me through a long, long day without losing it. Of course, while leaving the music studio, she had a meltdown, sat on the ground and said, “Mommy, I want to watch Sesame Street in your bed, while you take a nap.”
Now I know this isn’t nearly as bad as swearing, but all of us have little things we do to cope in life and, unless you’re Mother Teresa, you have double standards too. I accept them. I don’t hide them, when I’m talking to my friends that know me. I just don’t want my daughter announcing this behavior to the world, especially other authority figures like her teachers or, worse yet, my parents…who will provide a nice, fat lecture about my decisions.
When it comes to dark chocolate, Babyface understands that I get double of whatever I give her because I’m twice her size. Makes sense, right? One nice, little double standard that I still have intact.